Agent Smith's ComputerGenerated Neighbourhood
by deadthingsdontfly
Summary: What would it be like if Agent Smith was the star of the Mr. Rogers Neighbourhood show? Eh... weird? PG for puppetviolence


_**Disclaimer: I DON'T own… Mr. Rogers, Agent Smith, or their shows/movies.**_

_**Claimer: I DO own… this idea (DO NOT STEAL! Hee…), the Neo puppet, and Hen-Neko (who is, by the way, my sidekick… those who have read my other parodies would know him well)**_

Laurel: And for those who haven't read my other stuff…

Hen-Neko: Run while you still--

Laurel: (pushes him out of the way) The actions are in brackets (points to the brackets) and the speech is not! (grins) Now on to the story!

* * *

**This episode's Theme: Matrix Anomalies**

(Musical intro)

Agent Smith: (enters the house) It's a beautiful day in this computer-generated world,  
A beautiful day for a virus.  
Would you be me?  
Could you be me?...

(changes his jacket… to the same black suit…) It's a neighbourly day in this computer-generated world,  
A neighbourly day for a virus.  
Would you be me?  
Could you be me?...

(sits and puts on the same shoes) I've always wanted to have a neighbour just like me.  
I've always wanted to infect your programming with a virus…

(takes off his sunglasses and puts on another pair) So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.  
Since we're in the matrix, we might as well say:  
Would you be me?  
Could you be me?  
Won't you be me?  
Won't you please,  
Won't you please?  
Please won't you be…

Me?

Agent Smith Hello children… surprised to see me…? Now, (walks toward the kitchen) I'm sure you all know what an "anomaly" is, correct? An anomaly is something that is… peculiar… strange… unusual. You know, like… one who deviates from the norm… one who is… not supposed to be.

Agent Smith (stands in front of the fishbowl) For example; Mr. Anderson. (looks down at the fishy) Hello Mr. Fishy… are you ready to talk yet?

Fishy: (is floating at the surface, upside down)

Agent Smith: Stubborn are we? (leans close to the glass and takes off his sunglasses) Tell me the location of Zion! TELL ME! (shakes the fish tank violently)

Fishy: (is already dead… poor guy.)

Agent Smith: (glares at the fish) Alright then… (puts his sunglasses back on and straighten his clothing) Anyway, today we are going to deliver a package to this… anomaly. (reaches toward an envelope) When we deliver messages we go to the post office. Lets go and deliver… this… package… (raises an eyebrow)

(music plays as the camera travels around the different houses. Neo is seen flying by above… but we'll just ignore that for now)

Agent Smith: (arrives at the post office) Hello, I'd like to convey this message to my… uh… friend. Yes… friend.

Mr. McFeely: Hello there Mr. Smith! Now who would you-- AHHHG! AHH! (has been turned into a Smith)

Agent Smith: Thank you.

Mr. McSmith: Your welcome. (takes the envelope and leaves)

Agent Smith: Now wasn't that fun? (glares silently at the screen for a few seconds)

(the happy xylophone music plays again and this time Mecha-warriors are battling in the sky. The screen zooms back to Agent Smith's house)

Agent Smith: (walks in the door and toward the train track)

Trolley: (whistles and tries to get across the track to the other side before Smith sees it)

Agent Smith: (grabs the trolley) Hello Mr. Trolley… surprised to see me?

Trolley: (whistles as if in pain… uh… if trolleys _feel_ pain)

Agent Smith: (looks at the screen) Last time we went to the Neighbourhood of Make-believe Neo killed me. (glares intensely) So lets… catch him unawares… shall we? (places the trolley on the track again and it speeds toward the tunnel to the right)

**--- in the make believe place… land… whatever… ---**

Neo Puppet: Why hello Trinity.

Trinity Puppet Puppet: Hello Neo. (in Neo-Puppet's "Trinity voice")

Trinity Puppet: Neo… what are you doing?

Neo Puppet: Uh… (throws away the puppet of the trinity puppet) Nothing. Look! A distraction! (points)

Trinity Puppet: Where? (looks)

Neo Puppet: There! Look, it's getting away!

Trinity Puppet: (runs off)

Agent Smith: (appears)

Neo Puppet: Uh oh…

Agent Smith: Hello Mr. Anderson… surprised to see me?

Neo Puppet: Not really. (puts on his sunglasses… that aren't as cool as Agent Smith's)

Agent Smith: The best thing about being me… is that there are so many _mes_… (Agent Smith Puppets come out of nowhere)

Neo Puppet: …uh…

Agent Smith Puppets: (attack him)

**--- A battle breaks out between the Agent Smith Puppets and the Neo Puppet. Finally Agent Smith (the real one) gets a hold of the Neo Puppet ---**

Agent Smith: (puts the Neo Puppet on his hand) Now, now, Mr Anderson… I think you'll like being me…

Neo Puppet: NOOOOOO!

Agent Smith: (tries to change Neo-Puppet into an Agent Smith Puppet but it doesn't work) Oh, so _that's_ how it is, eh? How about this then! (punches the puppet) And this! This! (beats the puppet to a pulp) Ha! In your face!

Neo Puppet: Owie…

Agent Smith: (takes off the puppet, revealing a pretty broken-looking hand) Oops…

Trolley: (whistles and goes by)

Agent Smith: You again? (chases it) Come back here!

Trolley: (takes out a gun and shoots Smith)

Agent Smith: (dodges the bullets)

**--- on the Puppet Nebakanezer ---**

Puppet Morpheus: Everything that has a beginning has an end.

Puppet Trinity: Stop saying that. You're not even the one who says that in the movie.

Puppet Morpheus: Shut up.

Puppet Link: Neo was… beaten to a bloody pulp!

All Puppets: So?

**--- back in the "real" world… the mind makes it real… muahahaha! (cough cough) ---**

Agent Smith: Now that that's taken care of… (pauses and looks at the screen) Hmm… (walks toward it and sticks his hand out)

Camera man: AHHH! (becomes a Smith)

Agent Smith: (laughs manically)

**--- The screen says, "Technical Difficulties" but Agent Smith's evil laugh can still be heard ---**

**END!**

* * *

_**Endnotes**  
1. Mr. McFeely is the post-office guy. Am I the only one who finds that name disturbing?  
2. Someone who has seen the movies may recognize that the mail sceneis relating to the scene where Smith delivers that package to Neo... hee... fun, eh?  
3. In regards to the puppet puppets... this may be a little confusing (and weird) but the Trinity talking there is a puppet on the hand of the Neo puppet. So it's a Trinity-Puppet Puppet... just to clarify._


End file.
